Thursday, February 13, 2025

Sunday, February 23, 2025

Good morning!

This is your friendly public service announcement—tomorrow is Hallmark’s biggest money-making day of the year. Valentine’s Day, don’t forget your sweetie.

Yesterday was a paperwork and organizing day—well, not for me, but for Cindy. Bless her heart, she’s on a mission to declutter in preparation for the inevitable day when we’ll need more space. I know how hard it is to part with things that have been around for decades, each item carrying a memory or a story. She’s tackling it like a champ, I see bags parked in the foyer ready to leave the house. Not a fun project.

I had a Zoom call with Team Gleason yesterday to keep me on track with my voice and message banking project. The person helping me had incredible patience and empathy, which was much needed because, let’s be honest, I need all the hand-holding and pushing because this is not a project I want to do. It’s so much easier to put my head in the sand and ignore what’s coming.

I had already done a voice banking session on my phone (patting myself on the back for being ahead of the game), a number of weeks ago. I really didn’t like the results so bshe encouraged me to do a couple more so I’d have options. Too bad you can’t take all the voice recordings and optimize the best parts of each one, with end result being a better synthesized voice. No such luck there. Big thanks to Geoff for pushing me to start this process back in early January —so we were able to skip voice banking fairly quick.

So there I am, feeling all tech-savvy and keeping up with her instructions like a pro, and then we hit a snag. She asks me to download an app for message banking. No problem, right? Wrong. I can’t find the app. After a few failed attempts, I turn my phone toward the computer screen so she can help figure out where I’m stuck. That’s when she very kindly informs me that my video isn’t even on. Mind you, we were already 15 minutes into the call. I pop on the video, she smiles when she sees me and it feels like we’re starting all over.

We move on to recording some sample messages. I start with something simple: “Honey, I love you.” And just like that, the weight of it hits me. Knowing that one day I won’t be able to say those words out loud makes my throat tighten. She pauses to let me take a deep breath and keep things together.

We then try another phrase, one that Nicole reminded me of when I’d leave messages on her phone. Hey Kiddo, it’s Daddio!”—and that’s the one that does me in. Suddenly, I can’t talk…voice cracking and a few tears for good measure. I try to wave it off, my voice cracking as I apologize. She doesn’t miss a beat. “I know how difficult this is… it’s okay. It happens to everyone.” Her kindness makes it both easier and harder at the same time. I want this exercise to be successful and we’ve got a couple of minutes left on the call.

I think of Alex and Nicole’s wedding this fall and how message banking will be helpful for me to do a toast., I then tell myself…“don’t bring this up because you won’t be able to finish your thoughts.” Cue another wave of emotions. I try to reel it in, but at this point, I’m just a mess. I again have to wave these emotions off get my shit together.

Once I pull myself together, we finish up and schedule another session to start uploading my recorded messages, transcribing them, and organizing them into folders for future use. I have some homework before our next call—recording more meaningful phrases. I mentioned that my mind was blank, so she suggested asking the people who know me best for ideas.

So, here’s my ask: What are some things I say all the time? Cindy’s first suggestion was “It’s all that and a bag of chips.” I have a feeling Maria would suggest “Hello, David.” What else comes to mind? Help me out, people—before I end up with a collection of meaningless phrases with no personality.

Today is my five-hour ALS clinic visit. Hoping for a good evaluation and maybe—just maybe—a tiny sliver of hope to slow down this relentless, shitty disease. I’m keeping my expectations grounded in reality, but hey, fingers crossed for something positive.

Talk to you all tomorrow. Have a great day in whatever you have going on. “If you can’t get out of it, then get into it”.

I love you guys.❤️