Sunday, May 10, 2026

Sunday, May 10, 2026

ALS United River Swim Auction

Hello friends, family, and followers! This is Alex writing to you about an ALS United auction I went to yesterday for the Chicago River Swim.

I went to the auction alone yesterday, and after a 2.5 hour drive to the city I get to the restaurant and realize that I’m at an event where I don’t know a single person lol, Sarah Brandt from ALS United invited me, and I had only talked to her through email up until then. She told me that Julie (another ALS United worker) was coming to the event to see me, but I had no clue what she looked like and wasn’t going to go asking around for anyone named Julie.

It was on the river at a restaurant called Legal Seafood. I get there at like 6:30, dinner starts at like 7:30, so I go grab a beer and head to the balcony to look at the view of the river. I was looking at the bridge at Dearborn and Wacker, and was wondering how many times Dad crossed that bridge. He didn’t live in the city, but he’s always lived around it, so my guess was 35 crossings. In the middle of this thought, a couple approaches me.

Conversation 1: A couple came over, complimented me on my purple jacket, and then asked me about my connection to the event. I explain my dad’s ALS, my connection to swimming (remember, I was a god among men 😉), and how I did the marathon last year with the charity and helped raise $65k.

They ask me if I’m doing the swim, and I say something like “ehhh idk, I feel like I should do it but I’m not sure about swimming in the river.” The lady says that she does want to swim in the river, and I ask if she’s doing it but she said she’s on the wait-list.

Now my information was about 2 weeks old, but when Sarah invited me to the dinner I also asked if I could do the race. It’s only 2 miles for the longer distance, so I figured I could just do it cold turkey without worrying about training. Sarah told me that there were spots open still, which seemed like helpful information to tell this couple! So being the helpful guy I am, I say “oh I thought there’s still spots open, I was told by Sarah that I could still swim it!”.

And then the scene changed. If you have ever watched the show “Parks and Recreation”, I suddenly realized I was talking to the real life equivalent to the couple in the show Marcia and Marshall Langdon. Immediately after I said what I said, the couple looks like they just learned some dirt that they can use, and they say “oh, well I need to go talk to someone inside about that”.

They leave me as I realize I might have special privileges to do the race because of my background. Went and grabbed another beer while thinking about what just happened, and laughed because I could see my dad accidentally doing the same thing while trying to be too helpful. Hopefully I didn’t get anyone in trouble!

Conversation 2: I get to the bar for another beer. A lady comments on my purple jacket while getting her drink, and asks my connection to the event. I explain my background for the 2nd time, and she asks if I’m swimming the race. Im a smart guy and won’t make the same mistake twice, so I say “No.”

She mentions she does charity stuff related to water. I tell her I used to work for a massive water company (Xylem, market cap $27b) and how I helped fix a pump that sucks river water to cool a building on Wacker. She’s like “oh cool! Tell me more!”

And then I explain how the company is horribly managed on the manufacturing side. I’m not sure why I started talking about that, but she was very intrigued, so I told her about how bad the Morton Grove factory is run. And then I remembered that Xylem has a big water charity, and ask if she works with Watermark and if the charity is at least better than the company itself. She just shakes her head. She asks if I still work there and I say no and start to explain slip rings, and she gets bored and leaves the conversation.

I think back to my first conversation where I felt like I got interrogated for information, and realized I might have just done the exact same thing again. But if this conversation was an interrogation as well, I had way more dirt to offer on the company that I’d give up for free! Xylem sucks!

Conversation 3: I take my beer to the balcony, and I make sure to avoid more conversations until we sit down for dinner. I find my table, go to the far corner of it, and sit down across from the 1 guy at the event who is not dressed up. In fact he’s wearing a T-shirt and swim suit. This guy is more up my alley I think, so I introduce myself. Turns out he’s the guy that manages the kayakers that help lifeguard the race, very cool stuff.

Conversation 4: A buff lady sits next to him, introduces herself and then basically explains how she does a lot of swim and run races. She was really cool too, we had a great conversation about being athletes. But as the conversation continues, I feel her judging me more and more because she is clearly an extremely dedicated and hard worker, and I’m this guy who’s just got latent talent that doesn’t use it. But she talked about all the pseudoscience stuff that she does to help her training (including going from a hot shower to a cold ice bath and alternating, which is a great way to give yourself a heart attack). I judge her for trying too hard. I think we could be good training partners, we’d both want to beat each other just to show that the other person’s training methods are wrong!

Conversation 5: And then a lady sits next to me, and she says “Alex! I’m Julie, I was just with your sister all week in DC doing ALS stuff!”, which I had seen pictures of all throughout the week. She shows me her camera roll and literally every picture my sister sent us last week was taken by Julie. I was shocked that she was able to just point me out without having met me, I think that’s maybe why Julie does what she does? She’s a people person!

We talked more about her time with Nikki, more about kayaking and athletics, and then came the auction!

First part of the auction was a raffle. You had to buy a $100 whistle to enter the raffle, and the winner got to choose one of the raffle items before bidding. The winner was whistle #4, mine was #2. So close! And then the winner picks the option that gives money to the charity, the obvious choice that I think anyone there would have picked.

First item for auction was for a golf outing. I thought “ok this would be EXACTLY what dad would bid on. I think I can probably bid $250 without having to explain to my wife what I spent money on”. Bidding opens at $800. I think “well it’s for a good cause…” and consider bidding. There’s no time to think though, because suddenly the bids climb to $1200.

It’s a golf outing for 4. I know that a lot of you guys like golfing, so I think “well maybe if I buy this, I can auction it off to the blog readers and make a profit that would get donated to our marathon charity funds..”. But the bidding was at $1500 by now, and I don’t know if you guys are good for it. But then I think “Nikki and Zack like golfing, I bet I could guilt trip them into paying me back for this if I give them the package…”

Nikki and Zack, you guys should thank me for not being impulsive. Bidding closed at $1800.

The rest of the bidding was uneventful. It was 9pm, and I had a phone at 5% battery and a 1.5 hour drive home. I left right before the last bid, and as I’m walking out I hear it announced: “And for the final item, starting at $500, the winner will get a chance to do the Chicago river swim!”

So I turn around and walk back in to grab my bidding paddle. I’m sure I can get someone to pay for my entry here, and after that first conversation I felt like if there’s a spot in the race for sale, I should go get into the race without any special privileges.

And then the announcer finishes explaining the item: “..a chance to do the Chicago river swim… 3 days ahead of the race! You’ll be the test subject!”

I had a good hearty laugh at that, and turned back around and left to go get my car. Home at 10:30, in bed by 10:35, asleep at 10:34. It was a great night! Thank you to Sarah and Julie and everyone else at ALS United for setting that up, I’d guess that about $15k was raised between the whistle raffle and the auctions, not a bad night for fundraising!

Pictures are of me and my purple jacket that everyone seemed to love!

Thank you all for reading, and as always, F ALS!